Why It’s Okay to Fall Apart (Especially in Therapy)

There’s this romanticized version of therapy a lot of people have: you show up, talk about your problems, get some solutions, and they immediately work to improve your life. 

But the thought of crying and falling apart? In front of a stranger? *cue the Wilhem scream*

Here’s the thing: it’s actually *so* okay to fall apart in therapy. Because if you can’t fall apart there, then where the heck else are you supposed to? 

And if you need some more convincing, I’ve got answers to the questions I know you have.

Is it bad to trauma dump on your therapist?

No, because it’s impossible to trauma dump on your therapist.

This is one of those pop psychology terms that grinds my gears a bit.Trauma dumping, or sharing information about your own traumatic experiences without any warning, isn’t possible in therapy.

Your therapist is *literally* there to support you with your trauma and any other experiences that have been distressing or destabilizing for you.

It’s one of the many ways that talking to a therapist is different from talking to your friend, family member, or partner. Therapists know that at any given moment, the conversation can take a sharp left turn into trauma land.

So if you fall apart, you can trust that you’re doing so in front of someone who’s literally there to support you with it.

Is falling apart just part of the process in therapy?

It can be for some people! If you’re someone who tends to avoid your feelings (out of personal preference or because someone, somewhere in your past taught you to), therapy has a way of bringing those avoided emotions to the surface. 

And sometimes when those emotions surface, they come out through tears.

How do therapists feel when clients cry?

I can only speak for myself, but when my own clients cry I see them as people having a very human experience. 

I don’t feel annoyed, nor do I feel like my clients are being dramatic. Tears are just one way that certain emotions get expressed.

Crying is also a very common thing to do in therapy. It’s okay if it happens and you really don’t need to be worried about how your therapist feels about it.

So…is it okay to break down in therapy?

It sure is. Breaking down in therapy is something that your therapist is prepared for. It’s also something they can support you through. 

I know that it can feel beyond uncomfortable to break down in front of another person. Just like I also know that you’ve likely been taught to not show that level of emotion ever. 

But your therapist isn’t like other people in your life. They’re a trained profession who’s ready to respond to you breaking down with compassion and kindness, not pity.

I’m Halle! An anxiety therapist in Colorado and Oregon.

I work with adults who are ready for anxiety to stop running (and ruining!) their lives. You can work with me in either 1:1 weekly therapy, or in a therapy intensive.

If you live in either Colorado or Oregon, I’d love to work with you. Book your free intro call to get started!