Why You’re Always Overthinking

If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking “I wish I could just turn my brain off,” you’re definitely not alone. Let’s talk about why you can’t stop overthinking and how overthinking therapy can help!

Okay but What is Overthinking?

Overthinking is when you loop on the same thought over and over. And because you’re looping on the same thought, you’re having trouble enjoying your life, your work, and your relationships (including the relationships you have with yourself).

Another thing about overthinking is that it’s usually not productive. In other words, nothing is getting solved while your thoughts are looping.

In fact, you might notice that your thoughts actually become more unproductive the longer you loop.

A thought like: “I’m worried I won’t be able to find parking at my doctor’s office tomorrow because it’s always so busy there,” can quickly turn into, “I’m such a horrible planner and I never get anything right. I should just cancel my appointment.”

Why You’re Always Overthinking

Because if there’s one thing I know for certain it’s that you didn’t ask for your brain to do this, and yet, it’s doing it and it sucks. Here are the most common reasons for overthinking I tend to see in my private therapy practice:

You Were Taught to be Afraid of Making Mistakes

Whether you had strict parents, or grew up in a religion where there was a heavy emphasis on avoiding mistakes, overthinking can develop as a survival strategy.

“If I just think of all the possible scenarios and plan for them, no one will get mad, I won’t get in trouble, and everything will be okay.”

What you really needed was the space to know that mistakes are part of learning and to know that you could be supported after making a mistake.

You Assume that Uncertainty Always Means Danger

For better or worse, uncertainty is a part of life. But your past experiences play a major role in what uncertainty means to you.

When uncertainty has led to someone being upset with you, someone hurting you, or you ending up in a situation you’d really prefer to not be in, of course you’re going to overthink. What you’re most likely looking for is a sense of control so that you can feel safer.

You’ve Experienced Trauma

After you experience something traumatic, your brain does everything it can to review the pattern that led to the traumatic event(s). And while that’s sometimes useful, it can unfortunately lead to a pattern of overthinking as a default.

The trauma that happened wasn’t your fault, just like it’s not your fault that you overthink. What you need now is some help recognizing all the ways that you are safe.

Overthinking Therapy Can Help

Overthinking doesn’t have to be the default setting in your brain. Therapy can help you process what’s led to your pattern of overthinking, while also helping you create new skills that you can use in your everyday life.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but overthinking sometimes pops up when you’re trying to avoid feeling something. And as annoying (or scary) as it may sound, you really do need to feel your feelings. If you don’t, the avoidance of your feelings will keep fueling your overthinking.

Overthinking therapy helps to bypass the impulse to repeat the same stories and loops so that you can actually process your feelings. Methods like Brainspotting and Internal Family Systems are especially useful for this.

Whether you’re simply annoyed by your tendency to overthink, or if overthinking is making it hard to have a good relationship with yourself and other people, therapy can be useful. I truly believe the best time to go to therapy is when you’re aware that you don’t want to work through your experiences completely alone. 

Looking for an anxiety therapist in Colorado or Oregon who works with overthinkers?

You’re in the right place! I’m offer 1:1 weekly therapy sessions to folks who live in either Colorado or Oregon. To get started, book a free consultation call!

If you live somewhere other than Colorado or Oregon, you’ll need to search for a therapist who’s licensed to practice where you live.

Hey there! I’m Halle, an anxiety therapist based in Longmont, Colorado.

Overthinking doesn’t have to be the default setting for your brain.

If you’re looking for a therapist who understands how overwhelming it is to have your brain loop on the same thoughts for hours and days on end, I’d be honored to support you!